jumia

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Drinking beer is not for women

So by this time yesterday,  a friend of mine called it quits with his girlfriend.
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Reason: they went out together to a birthday party,  he ordered a bottle  of beer, and she ordered a bottle too. 🍻 Finito! 😂😂😂
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He called me to lament he can't marry someone like that. According to him,  he was embarrassed, because while the other ladies were drinking malt, juice, fruity cocktails, nonalcoholic wines, etc.  his own babe joined him to download Hero. 😂😂😂
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Okay,  before the waiter brought the beer,  he expressed his disappointment. He went ahead to explain to her that drinking beer wasn't womanly, and it was only for lesbians, tomboys,  and whores. She nodded.  He thought she understood. But guess what?
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When the waiter arrived, aunty collected her order,  opened the chilled substance and started downloading. Uncle was shocked to his bone marrows.  E do am like African magic.😱
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Apparently,  she made it very clear she couldn't compete with the image of the sexy malt-drinking woman, he had  in his head. 😂😂
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I laughed all through his bickering. He said she had no remorse for what she did.  Babe couldn't  even apologize for gross misconduct. Chayee! 😂
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When  he asked for my opinion on the issue. I knew he desperately  needed me to be like; eew! OMG!😱😱What kinda girl drinks beer? Why can't  she even apologize. Ordinary sorry fa! She doesn't  have manners.  No mind am , etc... 
But everyday no be Christmas na.😂😂
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"I like your girlfriend . She's  simply unfuckwithable. " I said. 😂😂😂
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My friend almost had a cardiac arrest.  " So you're supporting her abi? I can't  believe  this shit! A whole you! Don't  you know only harlots drink alcohol?  Don't you know beer will even make you fat? Beers are for men not women."He yelled.
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I laughed him to stupor. Indeed light travels faster than sound.  That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.  Beers are for men.  Seriously? Who made those rules? 
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Unfortunately, he is not the only one placing an inordinate amount  of importance  on superficial preferences like this👆👆. I've seen men who vomit loads of crap about women who do alcohol. Yes!  And I've also seen women who look down on men because they don't drink.
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You see the aforementioned  set of people?  They are not just mad, but have ample time on their hands. Caring so much about other people's  drink choices, seriously? I find it weird.
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Now,this wan went to break up with his babe because she ordered  beer, and ees now looking for moral support from me. Aye le o! Oga didn't you order beer too?😦😦
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  Abeg drink and let drink. Hian! 
This is why Naija can't  be better. 😂😂
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You're telling me you can't  believe she likes beer.  Why can't you believe?  Na poison? Don't you like beer? Why are you sounding as if a woman drinking beer is like some kind of freaking miracle? Stop being sexist. Stop! 🙋
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Now you're also saying that alcohol  makes women fat.  Ees it your fat? Special adviser on unsolicited  matters. Mbok,  Allow somebody to drink her damn sugar-filled- fat- creating alcohol  and drop cup na!  Shey the calorie content dey reduce when man dey drink am? Ezigbo Mmadu!👏👏👏👏
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I live in a society where a woman who drinks is labelled a pathetic alcoholic, whereas a man who drinks is simply unwinding. Issokay! 😂
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Well, I'm so sorry  all ye concerned citizens of Nigeria...and I'm  officially welcoming y'all  to the 21st century where some women love to drink a cool bottle of something that isn't  spiced, sugary, or flavoured with synthetic fruits.
If you can't  endure it, once again, I'm  sorry there's  nothing I can do about it.
Just go and play in traffic. 😂😂😂😂
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Happy weekend my people. Please drink and let drink.
P. S: If you're  drinking,  don't drive. And if you're  driving, don't drink. I don't have money for condolence.  Tenkiu!
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Written by Penocrat Ayomide Kindness💗💗