jumia

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Letter To President Buhari

Uzoamaka Doris Aniunoh has just said my own. In delightful prose-poetry, she has flung a song at you... Here her. Just hear this goddess of njakiri that stings 😍:

The title of this River Niger njakiri should be "Ntoin."

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If after you were born, your mother told you how your great-grand father died by drowning. Your grandfather too. Your father died two days before you were born- drowning. And you, in your infinite wisdom, decide to ignore history and go and build your mansion next to a beach, because, well, water has calmed down over the years. You know. You can see it with the movement of the water. Even sef, the water now glitters, speaks good English and although this water cannot find its WAEC certificate, it has changed.

Water no get enemy!

When they took the streets to do occupy their mama's kitchen, they did it with no problems. They carried lunch box sef to the venue. No one was harassed. They bought gala for #50 and la casera for #50 and they ate and drank in peace and acrimony. They called Uncle Jona names. Clueless, etc. Not that he wasn't, but that name calling did not land anyone in the SSS palour, or did it?

Ngwanu, fast forward to Change. Our oga at the top has ear infection and he is lying in a very soft mattress in England, receiving first class treatment. When they murdered humans for peacefully protesting, when they butchered humans mercilessly in Kaduna, the infection covered his ears so he did not hear our cries. Now, just like Occupy-their-kitchen-cabinet, Nigerians decided to Occupy, to show our dissatisfaction with the government. But the ear wax cleared from our president's ears and he heard us well. And he ensured it did not take place. TuBaba was threatened to stupor and he backed down.

This is what happens when history is ignored.

But I am thankful. I am thankful because had Buhari not won, we would have been hearing the bulldadash that is how this impeccable disciplinarian could have made Nigeria great again.

May our president live long. May he rule a second tenure. He will not die in Jesus name! Your ears will continue to clear, sir! If they want to occupy again, or demonstrate, or do any peaceful rubbish, I will write the names of the people who are involved for you sir! So that you can deal with them ruthlessly. You will send soldiers to give them twenty-six strokes each on their buttocks, after which they will thank you for your discipline.

Sai baba! Sai Buhari. Get well soon our darling president! You are the best! We deserve you!!! ❤❤❤

- Uzoamaka Doris Aniunoh