jumia

Sunday, January 29, 2017

The Nigerian Side Chick

Diary of a Nigerian Side Chick by @joroolumofin
In This Journal I will be covering five topics.
1️⃣ Definition of a Side chick
2️⃣ Types of Side chicks
3️⃣ Origin of a Side chick
4️⃣ Can a wife be a Side chick?
5️⃣ How do you eliminate Side chicks?

1️⃣Definition of a Side chick:
A SideChick is any lady who is having a love affair or sexual relations with a man who is committed to another lady by law or love.

2️⃣ Types of Side chicks:
1) Accidental Side chicks
2) Intentional Side chicks

a) Accidental Side chicks: These are naive, sometimes innocent ladies who fall victim or prey to the charms of a married man or a man who is in a serious relationship with someone else. These ladies are not aware that these men are committed to another woman by love or law. They devote years of their lives to those men. They love, cherish, and cook for the man, invest in his business so that he can ultimately marry them but they don't know they are dating a "ghost". Most accidental side chicks usually turn into Intentional side chicks because most times when the truth gets out, they are too emotionally attached to let go, they console themselves by saying when I met him I didn't know he had a wife or fiancé.

b) Intentional Side chicks: These are ladies who because of financial hardship, loneliness, "no boyfriend syndrome", unhappiness in their own relationships, laziness etc go into relationships with a man who is committed to someone else by law or love. These ladies are a problem, they treat this man as they would their first born child; control him, give him orders or chores, manage his businesses, promise him everything his wife cannot provide.
For example: "your wife is giving you only daughters, let me give you a son, your wife doesn't allow anal sex, try it with me, "let's do a threesome with my friend." These ladies are true psychologists, they take the deepest needs of a man and use it to control him hence distancing him from his family, responsibility, and children.

3️⃣Origin of SC: Sidechicks Originate from so many factors, But let's talk about 3 points
1) Generational Sidechicks
2) Bad Economy
3) Low self esteem

(1)Generational SC : This is a fact, it has to do with the Cognition, the mental archetypes of some young ladies and what they saw their parents do. A lot of ladies saw their mothers, aunties and guardians assume the role of INTENTIONAL SIDECHICKS without any consequences. Some people even credit their success to being a Sidechick. I received an Email in 2016 where this lady stated that " Yes I am a Sidechick/ Mistress, my mother was a Sidechick before she turned 2nd wife and she Is happy, I never lacked anything so what's wrong with me being a Sidechick too??" She was crucified in the comment section but to her that is normalcy, it is a norm, she doesn't see anything with with it. She will pass the same values to her children as well. She sees nothing wrong in herself or her daughter taking someone else's husband.

(2)Bad Economy : Most youth corpers, unemployed ladies, private school and public school university students fall victim to the Bad Economy. The only power a man has over a lady who doesn't have proper finances is MONEY 💰. Men use power and the promise of a better life to lure ladies into their nest or den. And once you're in it's hard to get out because emotions, pregnancy etc

(3)Low Self Esteem: The major reason for Sidechicks around the world is low self esteem. Any lady who really knows her worth won't subject herself to being number 2. And always have to spend " the day after" with a man.

Sidechicks always have "the day after". Let's call them, " the day after girls"
Most Sidechicks don't ever get spend -January 1st, -December 31st, -February 14th, Birthdays and other days with the man.

4️⃣ Can a wife be a Side chick?
Yes, they can. A wife or a girlfriend can assume the role of a side chick when the man is emotionally committed to another woman. You find the wife being "the day after lady," she's not aware of or can't control her husband's movements or plans. She is now a relic in her own marriage.
A lady once sent an email to my blog and said; "I want to know if I'm still married, I feel like a side chick, I don't know my husband's whereabouts or movements."

5️⃣ How do you eliminate side chicks?
I'm sorry to disappoint you ladies, wives, girlfriends, you can not eliminate side chicks. If I were to extrapolate the side chick phenomenon to psychology I would say they are like "extraneous variables" i.e.: "very stubborn and unpredictable." However, you can control them and stay one step ahead. My advice is for you to be vigilant in your marriage or relationship. Try your best to be the best. Be prayerful.

Most importantly have your own finances. The reason why a lot of women, ladies are stuck in detrimental relationships is that they don't have the "vex money" to leave the marriage or relationship. When a man knows you can't leave, he will do and undo because he knows when he wakes up in the morning you will still be there.

Here is a daily mantra for you to repeat "I WILL NOT ENCOUNTER A SIDE CHICK IN MY MARRIAGE".