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Thursday, January 12, 2017

Best Funny Robert Mugabe 2017 Quotes, Wise Sayings And Pictures

Nobody really knows if these funny quotes and sayings can actually really be traced to the aged statesman, but the internet agrees that the quotes are wise, funny Robert Mugabe quotes. So enjoy.

We have already moved into 2017 and you are still single...my sister swallow your pride and go to your inbox and reply to at least one person ,do you want to be a Catholic nun?
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Every woman deserves a man who calls her "Baby" Kisses like he means it, Holds her like he never wants to let go : Doesn't Cheat or Lie. Wipes her tears when she cries. Doesn't make her jealousy of other women and instead makes other women jealousy of her, Isn't scared to let his friends know how he really feels about her, and lets her know how much he really Loves Her.... The TRUTH is you all once met this type of guy but left him because he was BROKE.
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He asks to meet you in town the other day, and finds you waiting at KFC. He asks another day and you are waiting at McDonald's. My sister, are you a chicken?
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When a white person asks why do blacks shout when they speak, humbly answer them that we used to own vast amounts of land  and the neighbours were far.
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Ladies are powerful, they can introduce two boyfriends at the same time.
They will say My Love meet My Sweet heart. And the two idiots will say “Bossu how far?”
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It’s hard to bewitch African gals these days.  Every time  you take a piece from her hair to the witch doctor,  either a Brazilian innocent  woman gets mad or a factory in China catches fire.
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If you think it is your alarm clock that woke you up this morning, try putting it beside a dead body and you will realise that it is the Grace of God that woke you up.
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No sex before marriage???
If that was God’s plan you would receive your Penis or Vagina on your wedding day.
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“Sucking breast is a survival skill guys learnt at birth. But as to how and where girls learnt the act of sucking d*cks still baffles me…”

~Robert Mugabe
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If you are ugly,you are ugly.Stop talking about inner beauty cos we dont walk around with X-rays
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Respect pregnant women because it’s not easy walking around with evidence that you’ve had Sex.
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Obama: Mugabe, wisdom and money which one will you go for?

Mugabe:  I will take money

Obama: But I will go for wisdom

Mugabe: Well everyone will go for what he lacks.
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If you want to feed the homeless,feed the homeless! But the moment you post it on Facebook you are feeding your own ego!
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That moment when you have just broken up with your girlfriend and told her some harsh and disrespectful words then you realise she has your ATM card and knows the Pin...

My brother, that's when you learn to be humble.
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When a guy proposes to you ,ask him when he wants to marry you. If he says "Lets just be going until things get better". Please my sister tell him to go alone....Some guys have the habit of engaging girls for eternity...my sister refuse to be Lord of the rings.
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If she updates her status like ; "I love my boo, i have the best boo in the world, etc" without your name in it. My brother don't get excited because you are not the only one involved...She is dating the whole community.
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Do you know why strangers support you more than people you know? Because people that know you have a tough time accepting that you come from same place but they are still in the same place.
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Do you know why strangers support you more than people you know? Because people that know you have a tough time accepting that you come from same place but they are still in the same place.
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A Girl who likes MONEY & CARS.... Should be called MONICA
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Dear Guys

If everytime you ask your girlfriend to choose which restaurant she wants you guys to go and eat and she replies with "Please choose darling"  Please be thankful,  Your girlfriend knows that you are broke and she only want you to choose where you can afford. She's doing you a favor.
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MEN..... If you have $2000 in the house and your wife has $10,000. The total amount of money in that house is $2000.
This is the real Mathematics Application for Wives!
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The main reason why Chinese population is highest is not because the Chinese men are horny or neither because Chinese women are more seductive. Its because, the condoms they use are made in China.
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Research shows that birth control pills and condoms are 2nd and 3rd most effective methods of controlling population growth ...
School Fees continues to be No. 1.
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Ladies, If you ever decide to tattoo your man's name anywhere on your body ,
Just make sure its a Biblical name like John or
Samuel so that when he leaves you, you can just add  "15 verse 23".
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Some girls mistake love proposals for adoption. When you  propose to them, its like they become orphans all of a sudden.

They expect you to pay for everything..From clothes, phones, hairdo to airtime...and they are the ones who posts statuses like "I'm an independent woman" on Facebook.
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Hope you have had a great laugh with these funny Robert Mugabe quotes. Though I don't know if the wise sayings and quotes were really by Robert Mugabe or even said in 2017.