jumia

Monday, January 30, 2017

Diary Of an Overachieved Single Lady.

Diary Of an Overachieved Single Lady. By @joroolumofin

This Journal Encompasses : (1) Definition Of an Overachieved Single Lady
(2) The Irony Of Men in their Life (3) Their struggle (4) Recommendation

1️⃣ Who is an Overachieved Single Lady : Any lady who is "age" ready for marriage, earns more than enough money to take care of herself and can also afford luxury, owns a very lucrative business or franchise. These ladies are usually between ages 29-35. They have masters degrees, some have Phd., 6-15 years Working experience. They are the masters in their respective fields. Because of their single status, their one true love is success and prominence. Success doesn't break hearts, Success is not a Fuckboy, success makes them feel whole and complete. So they love and nurture the success.

2️⃣ The Irony of men in their life : The irony is tricky and hilarious. We men complain that ladies are materialistic and only take from us without giving back but when we meet a lady who is successful and independent we get intimidated, our Ego or Manhood is challenged and we act in ways these ladies don't understand.
Men react to Overachieved ladies in 3 major ways (1) The deflated Ego ( inferiority Complex) (2) The "Mr I don't need your money" (Aggressive)
(3) Mr "Epp" me ( Extortionist)

(1) The Deflated Ego: When some men encounter a lady who drives a better car than their car, lives in a better area, earns more money than he does. He feels so intimidated that he runs away. He goes into a shell. His Ego is deflated, he believes what can I offer her that will make her respect me like a man. She is too manly for me. I need someone who will fear and respect me.

(2) "Mr I don't need your money" : These type of men demand respect, they are usually over aggressive and are always out to prove a point that they are not intimidated by the lady's money or success. Some of these men result in physical violence to gain dominance and respect from Overachieved women. If you have more money, I have more muscle than you and I will beat you so you will fear and respect me.

(3) Mr "Epp" me : Overachieved Ladies, beware of these guys. From the moment he sees you, he has seen Central Bank Plc, ATM card, Water Dispenser, puff puff, Coke and Fanta. He sees you as his treasure, he will manipulate you until you cut everyone who will give you tangible advise off. He doesn't have a job, but always has a big master plan which he needs you to fund for him. He will suck you until there's nothing left. Most times guys like this Use Overachieved ladies as a stepping stone to meet their main love.

4️⃣ The Struggles of an Overachieved Lady:

(1) Most Overachieved ladies are between ages 29-38. Most men between 29-38 are either married, committed by Baby Mama or Engagement to another woman or have a baggage most women can't even burden. So where do Overachieved ladies find love ?

(2) Because of their success, they appear too manly and too confident which is sometimes a turnoff to men. Should they pretend to be timid to get a man?

(3) 3 out of 5 men are interested in their money or ATM cards so how do they know who is who?

(4) Some Overachieved ladies have lived by themselves for so long and they have been independent for too long so things like washing plates, washing boxes, cleaning shoe is an abomination to them. Do they compromise?

4️⃣ Recommendation: With patience, time and alot of compromise Love will come, but don't ever buy love or let your relationship be about money. Once you give a man power over your finances you can't take it back. At that moment you just adopted a child who's your boyfriend. You will feed him and nurture him forever.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

The Nigerian Side Chick

Diary of a Nigerian Side Chick by @joroolumofin
In This Journal I will be covering five topics.
1️⃣ Definition of a Side chick
2️⃣ Types of Side chicks
3️⃣ Origin of a Side chick
4️⃣ Can a wife be a Side chick?
5️⃣ How do you eliminate Side chicks?

1️⃣Definition of a Side chick:
A SideChick is any lady who is having a love affair or sexual relations with a man who is committed to another lady by law or love.

2️⃣ Types of Side chicks:
1) Accidental Side chicks
2) Intentional Side chicks

a) Accidental Side chicks: These are naive, sometimes innocent ladies who fall victim or prey to the charms of a married man or a man who is in a serious relationship with someone else. These ladies are not aware that these men are committed to another woman by love or law. They devote years of their lives to those men. They love, cherish, and cook for the man, invest in his business so that he can ultimately marry them but they don't know they are dating a "ghost". Most accidental side chicks usually turn into Intentional side chicks because most times when the truth gets out, they are too emotionally attached to let go, they console themselves by saying when I met him I didn't know he had a wife or fiancé.

b) Intentional Side chicks: These are ladies who because of financial hardship, loneliness, "no boyfriend syndrome", unhappiness in their own relationships, laziness etc go into relationships with a man who is committed to someone else by law or love. These ladies are a problem, they treat this man as they would their first born child; control him, give him orders or chores, manage his businesses, promise him everything his wife cannot provide.
For example: "your wife is giving you only daughters, let me give you a son, your wife doesn't allow anal sex, try it with me, "let's do a threesome with my friend." These ladies are true psychologists, they take the deepest needs of a man and use it to control him hence distancing him from his family, responsibility, and children.

3️⃣Origin of SC: Sidechicks Originate from so many factors, But let's talk about 3 points
1) Generational Sidechicks
2) Bad Economy
3) Low self esteem

(1)Generational SC : This is a fact, it has to do with the Cognition, the mental archetypes of some young ladies and what they saw their parents do. A lot of ladies saw their mothers, aunties and guardians assume the role of INTENTIONAL SIDECHICKS without any consequences. Some people even credit their success to being a Sidechick. I received an Email in 2016 where this lady stated that " Yes I am a Sidechick/ Mistress, my mother was a Sidechick before she turned 2nd wife and she Is happy, I never lacked anything so what's wrong with me being a Sidechick too??" She was crucified in the comment section but to her that is normalcy, it is a norm, she doesn't see anything with with it. She will pass the same values to her children as well. She sees nothing wrong in herself or her daughter taking someone else's husband.

(2)Bad Economy : Most youth corpers, unemployed ladies, private school and public school university students fall victim to the Bad Economy. The only power a man has over a lady who doesn't have proper finances is MONEY 💰. Men use power and the promise of a better life to lure ladies into their nest or den. And once you're in it's hard to get out because emotions, pregnancy etc

(3)Low Self Esteem: The major reason for Sidechicks around the world is low self esteem. Any lady who really knows her worth won't subject herself to being number 2. And always have to spend " the day after" with a man.

Sidechicks always have "the day after". Let's call them, " the day after girls"
Most Sidechicks don't ever get spend -January 1st, -December 31st, -February 14th, Birthdays and other days with the man.

4️⃣ Can a wife be a Side chick?
Yes, they can. A wife or a girlfriend can assume the role of a side chick when the man is emotionally committed to another woman. You find the wife being "the day after lady," she's not aware of or can't control her husband's movements or plans. She is now a relic in her own marriage.
A lady once sent an email to my blog and said; "I want to know if I'm still married, I feel like a side chick, I don't know my husband's whereabouts or movements."

5️⃣ How do you eliminate side chicks?
I'm sorry to disappoint you ladies, wives, girlfriends, you can not eliminate side chicks. If I were to extrapolate the side chick phenomenon to psychology I would say they are like "extraneous variables" i.e.: "very stubborn and unpredictable." However, you can control them and stay one step ahead. My advice is for you to be vigilant in your marriage or relationship. Try your best to be the best. Be prayerful.

Most importantly have your own finances. The reason why a lot of women, ladies are stuck in detrimental relationships is that they don't have the "vex money" to leave the marriage or relationship. When a man knows you can't leave, he will do and undo because he knows when he wakes up in the morning you will still be there.

Here is a daily mantra for you to repeat "I WILL NOT ENCOUNTER A SIDE CHICK IN MY MARRIAGE".

Ladies, can you marry an upcoming man?

Ladies! BE HONEST, will you marry akin?
Dairy of an upcoming man. By @joroolumofin

Hi, my man is Akin.
1. I have a Bsc & Msc in Economics, I am currently unemployed or earning 70k a month.

2. I use Okada and BRT to get around. On special occasions like Val's day I use Uber.

3. I live in with my parents or I'm sharing an apartment with 2 other friends .

4. I am on social media but I don't really have anything to post. I have 50 followers and following 500 people .

5. I wish I could be a Yoruba demon ; get girls and breaks hearts maybe but I don't have the money and time.

6. I use a tecno phone, I'll save up to buy iPhone by summer.

7. when I go to the club I stand by the bar drinking my Red Bull for hours, I keep pouring ice inside so I don't have to buy another one. I can't afford a table .

8. I have a Phd in friend-zone affairs. Every lady sees me as a friend not a lover. Why?

9. i don't like seeing movies on the weekend because it's too expensive 4000 for 2 tickets + pop corn 1800 + small chops 2500 + drinks 1500 = 10,300. Ahh! 2 weekends of moves my salary while take notice.

What is wrong?
I have a good heart, I am very ambitious, I know I will make it in life but it's depressing when the type of ladies I want won't touch me with a "10-foot-pole"
Do I have to make money first before I find love? Ladies complain daily that they want a man. Here I am. No one to date me. They go after the rich guys who will break their hearts. I guess that saying is true. "Ladies would rather be with a rich guy who cheats than a struggling faithful guy".

Should a lady ever pay for a date?


I have a few questions for research on this matter :

1. Is it true that a Nigerian man pays for dinner / outings on his own birthday and his girls birthday too? Is this right ?

2. Is it true that ladies attribute, reward or make a correlation between spending money and sex? I.e if you spend well on me I'll give you the cookie 🍪. Is this true ?

3. If the previous claim is true? Both guys and girls enjoy sex. Is it right for money to be brought in at all? Shouldn't getting the cookie be about your personality and fine face?

4. Ladies is not annoying when you're sitting at home " jejely" and this guy begs you to come out and then asks you to pay?

5. Fellas will you respect a lady who covers her own or adds to the bills? Will that make you want to see her more ?

6. Ladies, when a guys asks you to pay is it a deal breaker? Are you deleting his number?

7. Does this paying brouhaha have anything to with our Culture, The Economy, Personality, class, tribe ?

8. Does this Paying drama happen in every class I.e ( below middle class, middle class itself , rich ) Are the rich bothered about who pays ? Or it only affects middle class ?

Friday, January 27, 2017

Mac Now Supports Windows

Yeah

Optimus Prime in Naija

I think Optimus Prime was about to  reveal himself in Naija, but as usual, NEPA take light 4 transformer.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Thank You, President Trump

THANK YOU DONALD TRUMP: ON YOUR FIRST DAY IN OFFICE, YOU SAVED NIGERIA  OVER 200 MILLION DOLLARS ($200m)

●FOR NOT INVITING BUHARI AND NIGERIA GOVERNMENT TO YOUR INAUGURATION

Thank you for not inviting them...you have saved us a great deal and if you don't know...

You have saved us $1.5m of taxpayers money that Buhari would have used to land in the USA, mope around all day, smile and laugh, then sink in a deep cough and not hear a word; finally come back emptier than ever!

You have saved us N3b naira worth of billboards, banners and posters that Okorocha Rochas would have put up with slogans like,"The latest face of change" to deface Imo state and tell Imolites they are owing him N36b by 2019!

You have saved us over $1m that Aisha and Zara would have used just to come sit at the diplomatic stand, chew gums, snap Selfies and update profiles with "Fayose see me and Ivanka" and "Ivanka's complexion on my mind"

You have saved us over $1m, the cost of carrying Rotimi Amaechi, whose next newspaper headline on return would have been"American companies have sworn to build 36 rail stations for 36 states" and "Trump hates Wike"

You saved us lies!!!
Lai Mohammed was already rehearsing his scripts and I am sure," Trump begs Buhari to partner with him", "Trump to Buhari: you are a messaih" would have been his first lies. This would have cost us N850m!!

All the estacodes...a minimum of $250k and a crowd of not less than 130 persons including PAs of the PA to the SA of Senior SAs.

Thank you once again Mr Trump! Thank you for not inviting us!

I am sure the 19 Northern governors would have used the opportunity to conclude their meeting with Mr John Kerry and that is $1m × 19 = $19m ( don't bother using BODMAS, we have saved that).

I am sure some of the constituted authorities like Ajimobi of Oyo state who cannot pay salaries or fund education in their states would have been there with federal allocations, not less than $10m budgeted.

Sure it would have been an opportunity to meet some of your Parliament members... so Bukola Saraki and his entourage should have been there. Mr Trump, that alone would have been paid for using oil wells for at least 2 years!!!

Our 3 in one minister and jack of all trade, Babatunde Fashola would have been in the parade too. Just $50k would have taken him to and fro but I bet you, he will update his website with $2m with messages like,"American Electricity company takes over kainji and 400 power stations "!

I did not forget the failing health of the president (that has refused to fail totally) and I know what your health system is like, so this would have been a glorious opportunity to spend his leave there...please that one I am not sure we can fund it alone without the help of IMF and the world bank if he was in America...

You saved us their noise,  their pride, their nuisance, cost of gingles, their cluelessness, the appalling photographs that you will not know when they have snapped it but they will use it as 2019  election campaign posters!
On your first day in office, you saved us over $200m in this recession!!!

This is the money they siphon from our pockets while their gullible fans are on fb, tweeter and all social media shouting its PDP vs APC!!!! 

By Bishops Edwin and rebroadcasted by Fejiro Oliver.

What an interesting line of thought, Nigerians  don't take last!

Sunday, January 22, 2017

He lay dying (A Short Story)

His invincibility has never been questioned until recently, he had held on to them all with an iron fist and they had all shuddered in fear at the very sound of his breathe. He is the big cahuna, the iron monkey, the Lord comander. Olumagbon; never to be played with. 

The early harmattan wind eased in through the window opened in the medium sized room. That was the only window in the room and it was rarely opened but today, the shrunken frame of the immortal laid down and could not argue when the maid opened it. His weak state had taken everything out of him and he had locked himself in as he could not allow people see him like this. 

Outside the door were 5 young men just sitting and awaiting instructions. He might send instructions to any of them and in the preceeding days, they had become few. Rumors were already flying that he would not survive and that was itself a horror. The Pillar dead? Imagine the madness and confusion that will start first over who will take his place and then if everyone will be willing to work with that person. It will even be better if he survives

The cold grass on the lawn froze as a shillotte breezes over them. The hooded person in black slowly making its way through the grass towards the opened window. The dogs which had been barking went quiet but first whimpered and then disappeared. The figure made its way to the house, got to the window and seconds later, it was in the house without even passing through the window. 

The Grim was collecting and the iron butterfly was next. The panther was due for a trip to the other side and the grim would come by itself to collect the soul. Then the figure on the bed spoke. 

"I Know you are there but you can't take me. Not yet, my work is not done"

The figure stirred but did not move. It just stood in the room with no light but that reflecting from the huge sickle it carried and did not bother to hide. It seemes more bothered with hiding its face. 

"I need more time. Time to finish my work, to show the king that I am the pillar; the one who breathes fire and burns down thrones"

The hooded figure goes back towards the window and disappears. It was not on the lawn or anywhere, just gone. 

Outside the door, the 5 young men laid motionless. All dead.

Yoruba Demon (A Short Story)

Clouds gather over a sunny sky bringing with it the hopes and wishes of thousands of people who have been waiting for the first rain of the year. No umbrellas and no body bothered bringing out their buckets to get rain water the dust in the rusted corrugated roofing sheets made sure no ine tried or even thought of collecting the water. 

Everyone scampered in the dusty streets and through the already damaged road as a cool breeze blew through the breeze although filled wuth dust was welcomed to all as finally, there will be a relieve from the heat wave that has been predominat for days. 

A young adult stands in front of his house and looks at his phone, she should be here by now. He had spent about 3 months before convincing her to come visiting and he would be damned if the rain would be the reason she would not come. Although coming over to his house was dangerous for her, for him, it was just another girl. Some rounds of tramadol aided sex and bragging rights. He did not care that she was married. Karma to him was non-existent. 

What? Married women cheat all the time and this case will just be a statistic even for him, this won't be his first visit by a married woman heck three days ago, Chidinma his secondary school classmate graced his bed and she has been married for a little over……well memory aint good or useful here but for sure she could not have been married for up to 3 months. Does he care? This sexual urge has to be satisfied. 

Finally his phone rang and it was her. Before he picked it, he looked in the distance and he saw there was no need to answer, he saw her in the distance looking the same way she looked in her whatsapp pictures. She was wearing a long flowing flowery patterned skirt and a T.shirt. The wind blew and almost blew up the skirt but she held it. 

The sight of her clutching her phone and holding down her skirt at the same time seemed was so damn sexy he though to himself amd that wicked "Yoruba Demon"grin showed up on his face. He waved in her direction and she hurries towards him. She got to the door and they shook hands casually as he led her inside the house, towards his room and his door.

The rain was falling like the monsoon took a detour on his way to India. The calm wind had given way for a series of gusts and had some roofs blown away as it hammered down on the dusty South Western Nigerian City and while some people say down in their homes hoping their roof don't get blown off, praying they don't have a leak or making sure the wind is not blowing water inside their house, he stood inside a friend's house. His right fist clutched a machete and he could feel his anger rise and his head boil. The cool temperature brough by the rain did nothing. 

He is in a friend's room in the same house his wife just entered a room. The young man who lives there had a reputation of bringing home women and bragging about them to his friend and two days before had dragged to his neighbor and showed him pictures of the woman he was bringing this time. The neighbor recognised her as his best friend's wife and promptly called him and the set a trap. 

He was tired of waiting. They have been in there for about 15 minutes and he could hear faint laughter before but bow, all he could hear was a familiar moan. Yes it was time. His friend had gone to work so he was alone in this sinister act and nothing was going to stop him. 

He quietly exited the room and went next door, took some deep breaths, positioned himself and. Kicked at the door(why knock and give them time to arrange thenselves well?) The door flung opened and he saw himself in a dimly lit room. There, his belived wife, unclad with a young man whose face he could have sworn looked just like Apollo's.

He held the machete tightly as the occupants of the bed looked towrds him. She first did not know who it was as she was on some other thrones but seconds later, she recognized that frame, it was her husband standing at the door with a machete and she screamed. The young man jumped off his bed and her scream added to his confusion. 

He could not believe it even though he was prepared for it. He had his intention, kill em both and send them to Hades but at that point, his strength and confidence left him as his love for her turned misery and he felt the machete slip from his hand. What happened later he could not recall but when he got his senses back, he was walking. He felt the rain on his semi-bald head. The winds hitting him at different angles and his legs strengthened. He was walking down the empty road all alone………home bound. 

End.

Yoruba Demons

Yoruba Demons

Play the horns abeg. 

In the words of Jay Z "This is not politically correct; this might affect my political connects"

So I am not so active on Facebook. Heck, I find it burdensome but they have some cool videos so……but some days back I saw a post by Uju. Actually, it was a quote which went something like "women are not vending machines where guys pour in kindness and expect sex to fall out. If you want sex, grow some balls and ask for it. Can we please clap for whoever wrote this? As in, this should be one printed and hung on every door post and billboard out there so guys know the truth. Stop being kind to Ladies because you want to sleep with them. 

Look brothers, I understand that you believe that because you are kind, it might touch them somewhere and they will see how muh of a cool guy you are and they it will touch them emotionally and you will be seen as a potential partner………lmaoooo. Get your heads out of the clouds for 5 freaking seconds and get real. Wake the eff up and smell the freaking coffee(or Milo in this case). Most times, it is a waste of tine as you are most likely going to end up in that horrible horrible place called the "Friendzone". Not to yab the friendzone cos I enjoy it. It is a fun place for me. I am in a lot of people's friendzones and I am loving it without intention or me trying to move out

Now guys, kindness can't get you the girl. If you want to be kind and good and all that other crap, be that because it is who you are but do not expect her to love you because you are kind. Do not bother doing her assignments or staying up to talk to her about that burning pain just because you think she will change her mind for you as it will possibly(since there might be some girls who fall for this) end up in her going to the guy that is causing her heartaches while you will be the guy who she hits up at 2 am to stitch up the torn heart every time.

I have a friend, nigga fell in love with a girl who was in an abusive relationship. He stuck with her, helped her through the pain and stood by her. With his help, she finally got out of the reltionship and just chilled. Guess what? She got into a relationship with a guy that was like the one she just left and the guy was confused AF. He told me and I laughed my backside off although we had some great hangout sessions at the Nescafe lounge of UNILAG. Look, you are kind and the guy she comes to when she wants to be fixed but you are certainly not BF material. You think it is by kindness? I mean why do you think Yoruba Demons(I do not belong to this category of guys) get that much girls? 

A little good boy here, some really bad guy thraits there is what you should do. Dont be nice and cool. Nerdy guys are the perfect boyfriend material but you dont see them getting all the chicks right? It is the average guys always raking em C while the straight A students gets stuck with helping out with assignment and being study buddies. Because that is what they are good for. I dont know why you will suddenly make yourself at a girls beck and call and she can call you up at 2am. I mean it is good for a female friend with which you dont intend to date(or sleep with *inserts demon emoji*) but someone you want to date? Bruh please dont be that guy, let someone else be the one patching her up embrace your inner demon and dump the nice guy persona. Grow some balls and act up being nice does not get you the girl. 

Take that bad guy life with your chest else you will be getting L from here to Kuala Lumpur 

You also need to know that some girls are into nice guys and are tired of the heartbreaks that Yoruba demons give em but they are not much so it is not like every girl is like that. 

Having written all these, please realize that this is an excerpt from the Yoruba Demon handbook. Nice guys are cool and you should be one. Being an arsehole is really pointless, you might not get the girls or get laid (yeah yeah yeah, self sub) but still there is this inner satisfaction that you are not responsible for breaking hearts and Karma can't come and bite you via your daughters (not true but then….) And there is also the isues of bruh, do you want to be with a girl who does not see the potentials you possess but will rather be with one who is a total or half jerk? I mean you are here with all your nice qualities and she does not see it or she ignores cos you are boring, don't sweat it. Take the loss with your chest, realize that you really dont want want a masochist for a girlfriend. I mean what type of girl seeks out people that will break her heart? Thats is the type momma warned you about and you need to be thankful she is just seeing you as a friend. But if you ever decide to become a Yoruba Demon or atleast live like one, (not as if being a Yoruba Demon is a good thing or I am encouraging you to be one but…… ) learn that the strongest(also is the biggest arse, the wicked soul, the idiotic fuckboy, basically the definition of a Yoruba Demon) person in the relationship is the ones who cares the least. 

So yeah, stop being kind to Ladies because you want to date or sleep with em. I mean these 21st century ladies that believe that a first date should cost 35k? Nigga what they need are demons because in the words of my good friend Yemi, "Fine girls are crazy"

See eh, that fine girls are crazy thing is subject for another post abeg. And to all you Yoruba Demons out there, keep it up, dont catch an STI, dont get shot and dont push a girl to jump off a cliff. Remember that it is niggas like me that get stuck with these girls and are tasked with the responsibility of trying to stop them from sliting their throats. Biko, make our job easier. 

Please whatever your reaction to this is, do not insult my mother

Yoruba Demon (A Short Story)

Clouds gather over a sunny sky bringing with it the hopes and wishes of thousands of people who have been waiting for the first rain of the year. No umbrellas and no body bothered bringing out their buckets to get rain water the dust in the rusted corrugated roofing sheets made sure no ine tried or even thought of collecting the water. 

Everyone scampered in the dusty streets and through the already damaged road as a cool breeze blew through the breeze although filled wuth dust was welcomed to all as finally, there will be a relieve from the heat wave that has been predominat for days. 

A young adult stands in front of his house and looks at his phone, she should be here by now. He had spent about 3 months before convincing her to come visiting and he would be damned if the rain would be the reason she would not come. Although coming over to his house was dangerous for her, for him, it was just another girl. Some rounds of tramadol aided sex and bragging rights. He did not care that she was married. Karma to him was non-existent. 

What? Married women cheat all the time and this case will just be a statistic even for him, this won't be his first visit by a married woman heck three days ago, Chidinma his secondary school classmate graced his bed and she has been married for a little over……well memory aint good or useful here but for sure she could not have been married for up to 3 months. Does he care? This sexual urge has to be satisfied. 

Finally his phone rang and it was her. Before he picked it, he looked in the distance and he saw there was no need to answer, he saw her in the distance looking the same way she looked in her whatsapp pictures. She was wearing a long flowing flowery patterned skirt and a T.shirt. The wind blew and almost blew up the skirt but she held it. 

The sight of her clutching her phone and holding down her skirt at the same time seemed was so damn sexy he though to himself amd that wicked "Yoruba Demon"grin showed up on his face. He waved in her direction and she hurries towards him. She got to the door and they shook hands casually as he led her inside the house, towards his room and his door.

The rain was falling like the monsoon took a detour on his way to India. The calm wind had given way for a series of gusts and had some roofs blown away as it hammered down on the dusty South Western Nigerian City and while some people say down in their homes hoping their roof don't get blown off, praying they don't have a leak or making sure the wind is not blowing water inside their house, he stood inside a friend's house. His right fist clutched a machete and he could feel his anger rise and his head boil. The cool temperature brough by the rain did nothing. 

He is in a friend's room in the same house his wife just entered a room. The young man who lives there had a reputation of bringing home women and bragging about them to his friend and two days before had dragged to his neighbor and showed him pictures of the woman he was bringing this time. The neighbor recognised her as his best friend's wife and promptly called him and the set a trap. 

He was tired of waiting. They have been in there for about 15 minutes and he could hear faint laughter before but bow, all he could hear was a familiar moan. Yes it was time. His friend had gone to work so he was alone in this sinister act and nothing was going to stop him. 

He quietly exited the room and went next door, took some deep breaths, positioned himself and. Kicked at the door(why knock and give them time to arrange thenselves well?) The door flung opened and he saw himself in a dimly lit room. There, his belived wife, unclad with a young man whose face he could have sworn looked just like Apollo's.

He held the machete tightly as the occupants of the bed looked towrds him. She first did not know who it was as she was on some other thrones but seconds later, she recognized that frame, it was her husband standing at the door with a machete and she screamed. The young man jumped off his bed and her scream added to his confusion. 

He could not believe it even though he was prepared for it. He had his intention, kill em both and send them to Hades but at that point, his strength and confidence left him as his love for her turned misery and he felt the machete slip from his hand. What happened later he could not recall but when he got his senses back, he was walking. He felt the rain on his semi-bald head. The winds hitting him at different angles and his legs strengthened. He was walking down the empty road all alone………home bound. 

End.

Jungle Justice (Mob Action) in Nigeria

I was talking to someone on WhatsApp the other day and she was complaining or rather saying she was appalled by the rate of mob actions in Nigeria. As a lot of people are lynched or beaten by mobs when perceived to have committed a crime without giving that person the chance to a fair trial

In Nigeria today, hardly a week goes by without a case of mob action not reported and someone is either burnt to death by an angry mob or beaten up when caught stealing, molesting or sometimes even an automobile accident where both parties are involved. Nigeria is a place where you are driving on an expressway, there is a bridge for pedestrians to pass yet some people decide to cross the road and if they are hit by a car who was not expecting a human being to cross the road, the driver is adjudged the culprit. 

At that moment, the driver is in trouble as there is a huge possibility that he can be beaten up if the people "thinks" he is trying to get away or did not stop fast enough forgetting that the pedestrian is not supposed to have crossed the road in the first instance.

This problem of the mob carrying out justice stems not from Nigerians not having faith in the justice system as a lot of people will like to say as they say "If we hand him over to the police, they will collect a bribe and release him" but because Nigeria is a nation where her people have a punishing mentality and not rehabilitation

The above is the real reason we are all too quick to jump to a frenzy and burn down armed robbers. I have witnessed this before where two thieves were caught and they were burnt. People donated petrol and stuff. Guess what, it was a time where petrol was actually scare!!! Oh, and I was 8

From young, Nigerian have been taught to believe that punishing people is the only way to get closure for yourself and also get justice. It is a way to make yourself feel better about yourself in short, it is you taking revenge for what that person has done and not about making the person see his/her mistake and helping the person become a better person and be a useful member of the community.

It is this same punishing mentality that makes a husband decide to deny his wife "allowance" or decide to ignore her and not eat food cooked by her because she did something that he adjudged to be wrong. It is the same spirit that makes the wife deny the husband séx or deny choose to ignore him around the house 

It is the same mentality that makes a mother beat her kids to a point where the children feel like they are being tortured because they did something wrong instead of molding them. Hell, it goes down to beating the dogs, cats and even the barnyard animals(amazing right?)

It is the same reason teachers will rather beat every student in a class because some were making noise and he/she could not find out the trouble makers.

As a Nigerian, ask yourself how many times your parent(s) have punished you for something they suspected you did and even though they don't have enough they don't have enough proof that you are guilty still whip that backside of yours. They might not even be totally sure you did it too but because they believe in punishing you, you are flogged. 

Count the number of times Nigerians "Punish" people to the number of times they try to rehabilitate them and make your decision. We do not believe that our justice system works not that we don't believe the justice system is flawed. We believe it cannot change people and the only form of justice that works is punishment and so we will rather do things by ourselves.

There was a news report that some Terrorist suspects were being released and people kicked against it as they said they should all be killed/or at most not released eaely even though there was not one shred of evidence to prove they were terrorists. Nigerians don't care that those people might even be victims of terrorism they just want someone to be punished for what Boko Haram has been doing and that is the only way they can get closure. Do I blamed us? We were brought up like this, it is who we are but we can also try to break out and be better.

From our dealings with friends, in relationships, in business, we should try the option of talking to people, help them see their faults, try to make then better and not be quick to punish them but can we really do that? Can we rise above our own programming to always seek revenge and not correction? 

I pray we do as "An eye for an eye only creates a community of blind people"

Suicide notes

Suicide notes....I wonder what they feel or look like. Does symbolism apply to suicides?

I mean does the person writing a suicide note pick out a special piece of paper? That will be the last paper the person probably ever uses or probably one of the last except the path of death might involve the use of paper (I doubt though)....It might be written electronically too though.

Does the person check for errors? Typos? Does he/she actually tell a story or a simple "goodbye don't cry for me will do?" does the person tell why he or she is committing suicide so as to give close friends(?) some semblance closure?

What happens in the mind in that time the person grabs pen and paper and pencils down the last thought?

If you ask me, the final thought of a person who intends to take his/her life is the most important....hell, you don't know your first thought so the last one ought to make sense right?

Does it make the person an attention seeker to list the factors that pushed him/her? Does the person feel the compulsion to explicitly say he/she is committing suicide so as not to make murder suspect(s) of those that discover the body? Thoughts...... decisions.

How does the person select the way to go? I know some people research the type of death, some are used to pass a message which like the suicide note is a way of expression jump out of the window at work or stab yourself in the apartment jilted. 

Some just prefer to go without anyone noticing them gone. I think that's a lot better, the messy issue of dying and in front of everyone and making a public show of your death is not just so "sexy"...

Clothing....what do you wear? Do you pick out your most fancy clothes(assuming you even have any)? Or do you not care? Remember that what you wear is what people will discover you in. Do you still want to look fancy and all that vanity?

Wait, do you shave, take a bath, use perfume? 

Oh Lawd, do you eat? I mean dying in a empty stomach? That'd be awful, you will never know what chicken tastes like again and fish....even jollof rice surely you must eat....even people about to be executed are allowed one last meal.
How do you pick out your last meal? 

Do you look at the sky for a last time? No wait, do you do it in the afternoon or night? Surely you want to look at the stars one last time and say bye, or the sun?....nah, the sun ain't that cool to see a last time right? Or is it? I will see when the sun rises.

Do you greet your neighbors? I mean, do you smile at them or just walk on, you won't see them again but surely that time she brought you soup when you were ill deserves a thank you and she deserves a good bye right?

What shoes do you wear? 
Do you go with your phone? What if you get a call or you have to relay a message?

What do you do with your social media accounts? Do you deactivate some or you just leave them? WhatsApp....oh crap, do you delete it or leave it and people send messages that can't be replied? Do you wipe your browsing history? Do you even unlock your phone? Sounds kind of selfish not to. The phones should go to someone else but if your unlock it, they will have access to the info on it...you can delete the applications then. Do you delete the pictures you took?

Wait do you even think about all these or just do it? No, there has to be a thought process, just doing it is wrong.....Too many decisions so little time..mad rush.

Friends will come and go

One of the two things that I have learnt since I was eight is that people can never be permanent in your life. Only a few people in your life will remain through thick and thin and only a few people can remain at that level of friendship with you for a long time. Some people will, be grateful for them but understand that not everyone will. The second thing I learnt when I was eight was the dynamics of flight....don't ask how.

There is this saying that "20 friends can't be friends for 20 years". You need to let this guide you in everything you do. Realize that at some point, even those you call your "inner circle" will suddenly walk away or you will walk away from them. Both ways, something might happen along the way and you both end up not being so tight.

Like when I wrote about narcissism, you are allowed to feel bad but do not feel cheated. Don't ever feel that you gave too much to a friendship and then the other party walked away or you two just went sideways.

Sometimes, there is a change of interests and you both are not into the same thing or the both of you just "grow up" and the things that kept you together did not seem that important anymore.

Look, when this happens understand that it can happen. Don't ever think you invested too much in a friendship. Sacrifices should be done without the hope of getting anything back. I have this friend who said "When a girl gets a new BF, the first thing she does is to forget her male friends" and yet niggas get pissed when it happens....This is already in the guy code. Why do you think some guys don't even want to be friends with females?

Look you will go from being best buds to strangers, from chatting everyday to once a week. Fvck, some people will block you and you will block some but don't ever think of them lesser that you once did. Remember interests change and that is normal

Friends will come and go, that is a law. You remain and you should strive to be a good human and not just a good friend. That's what matters.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

Pressure and stress.

Pressure and stress.

A friend brought up the issue of pressure and stress whether in a work environment or any other place and I decides to revisit it and try to explain it using mathematical models which I understand more.

Stress and pressure only sounds similar they as different as day and night although the situation they occurs seem the same just as in mathematics.

I will be comparing Stress and pressure to Stress and strain. You see, Stress is the ratio of the change in length to the original length while strain is the force applied per unit area. 

Let me break it down if you pull an elastic object, (rubber for example) the length increases right? Well the stress is the difference between the new and old length divided by the new length. 

Strain is just the force you use to push or pull an object divided by the area in which you exert the force.

You see in the pressure and stress thingy, pressure is strain and stress? Well it is just stress.

In a work situation, Pressure is your superior saying you guys need to push out a document by 2pm and everyone should hustle to get it out.
Stress is when a superior tells you you will be fired if you do not get it out by 2pm.

While we see two situations that are almost similar, they are not. While we one encourages you to work harder for the food of the firm, the second is just you being threatened. Now pressure can also turn into stress. Imagine the pressure example and then at 1:30 the superior starts bombarding you with calls and messages. That's stress

Pressure is your spouse saying "Please be home early, we have not been on a date in a while" and stress is "Be home early or else I am going on a date with my neighbor"

Pressure is babe, "I have missed you since you travel and my groin is getting real crazy these days, can you spare me a weekend and I come around?" Stress is "How can you say you can't come around for the weekend? And if I cheat, you will blame me"

Pressure is asking me to speak to a member of tma medical team working on a patient and make sure the person is one of the top members of that team
Stress is you telling me I must speak to only the leader of the team else my report is not valid.

Strain has to do with pitting pressure on one and putting the pressure in the right place just like Hooke's law but stress is just you trying to pull me in different directions by that same pressure. Stress is not just uncomfortable, it is damn well irritating. 

You can encourage your child to be the best in his class and do all he can to come tops.
Telling that child you will cut down on his already minute allowance is not pressure/strain, that is just stress.

Stress affects the brain and contrary to what people think, it reduces efficiency. It makes you afraid of the outcome and hence you are scared and don't want to take chances.

Relationship rant


What is wrong with some ladies? Why do you people behave like you are permanently on PMS even though you are not and why is it that you people just allow yourself be controlled by your stupidity and daft emotions that you lot can't just realize when someone is just doing what's best for you and trying his best to treat you like human beings unlike others who treat you like cows? 

I don't understand why a woman will act cold towards a guy cos he decides to respect her and decides not to have sex with her cos he knows he does not feel romantically attracted to her even though she is. He knows that she is trying to get over her emotions with the sex but he sees her as more than a warm body and sees her as a human being with feelings and emotions so he tries his best not to hurt her and doing something they might regret but do these airheads realize that? Mba. The guy becomes public enemy number 1. 

Why is it that you can't just accept rejection without going to slander the guy and saying he in impotent or gay? Why can't you just be sensible and believe that he respects you so he does not want to make a mistake with you or he is taking his time so he is sure he is not deceiving you so sex should be on hold. I have told more than three girls this same statement when they got too wahalaful "Look I can have sex with you, keep having sex with you for the next one year even though I know I don't have a future with you. I can keep it up and just use you for sex while lying to you that I like or love you and you will feel good about yourself but I won't cos I respect you too much" guess what? They make me the bad guy. Like what the eff? 

Can't a lot of ladies just deal? You meet a guy who is all over your body and you say he is trying to use you for sex, you meet one who is willing to wait at least until you both are sure what you have is real and you throw your silly feminine insecurities around like a pregnant woman having a bad case of hormonal imbalance (no disrespect to pregnant women with hormonal imbalance). That's when you start asking daft questions like "Am I attractive" or you start being stupid enough to try to push the guy into what he does not want for you. 

Look some guys just care too much about you to use you so get used to it or do what you know how to do which is to go to the arseholés who don't respect you. But don't lurk around and trying to emotionally blackmail anyone. I don't get why you will go around slandering a guy cos he turned you down not cos he is not into you but because he does not want to do things that will not hurt his ego but might affect yours. Why can't you people just realize when you have won?

Personally my biggest fear in relationships is waking up one Saturday evening and having my GF tell me I have wasted 18 months of her life and been using her body so I like to make sure what we have is real before sex even comes to the table (does not mean it will happen yet sef). Stop this crazy slander of "He is dulling" or "he is not a sharp guy".

It is funny that a player (plays girls like no man's business) from the diary section said he is better than me morally cos he still shows ladies small love even though it might be fake and they enjoy it for a while but I just shut them out totally and that is wrong.

So not leading people on is now a crime to you people abi? Seeing bullshìt around the corner and protecting some ladies against it is now a crime abi? And to think it is these same people that will scream "So you felt nothing for me and yet you were sleeping with me abi?" A lot of ladies need to grow some brains to fill their empty cranium abeg. 

Thank God the block feature still exists on whatsapp and the delete and block feature is on BBM. I need to use it more. 

I have no apologies for this rant and you should notice the use of "Some" in the beginning of this rant. 

Spiritual Confusion

Spiritual confusion

I think some things are not proper with Christians and mythology and they need being addressed. I am tired of Christians insulting other religions as a result of their ignorance(you do have to agree with me that a lot of Christians are actually ignorant....well okay, a lot of people not just Christians)

First of all, the issue of Satan.
I wonder where the geniuses that translated the Bible into Yoruba got that Satan is Esu(pronounces Eshu) I don't understand this. How can Satan and Esu be the same person when Esu is a Yoruba deity and Satan originates from Isreal? Or are the Yorubas Israelites?

Esu is a Yoruba deity that is the God of pranks and tricks. He is also the messenger of the Gods has he once played a trick on Eledumate by stealing his slippers and then he stole some yams wearing those slippers so everyone else will think Eledumare did it and he was punished with having to go to the earth during the day and come at night to come and report what happen to the Gods so how can he be this chief enemy of the High God? So so unfair for this guys as his name has been maligned and they see his worshipers as evil people.

Esu is the Yoruba version of what the Vikings call Loki. The God of mischief(forget the movies abeg).

Again, how can you call Eledumare the Christian God Jehovah? Why will you do this? This is a serious case of spiritual confusion.
Eledumare is the Yoruba version of Zeus, the Viking's Odin and the Roman Jupiter. He is not a Greek, Roman, or Jew. He is Yoruba and he is the King of the Gods. Assigning names to a new God is a form of idolatry you know.

We know Ares, the Greek God of war to be Mars, the Roman God of war but he cannot be called Ogun the Yoruba God of war.

Thor is certainly not Sango
Hermes is not Esu
Hades is not Esu
Satan is not Esu
Esu is Esu
Jehovah is Jehovah
Esu is Esu
Satan is Satan or Satani
Apollo is not Ra so please don't call Jehovah Eledumare.

These personalities are different and they represent different people

Jehovah originates from Isreal or a Jew
Eledumare is Yoruba
Amadioha is Igbo, Sango is Yoruba and Thor is Vikin
Poseidon is Greek while Olokun is Yoruba so why call call Satan Esu?

These slanders must stop if not, we will continue calling Esu worshippers Satanists without them being that

Spiritual Confusion

Spiritual confusion

I think some things are not proper with Christians and mythology and they need being addressed. I am tired of Christians insulting other religions as a result of their ignorance(you do have to agree with me that a lot of Christians are actually ignorant....well okay, a lot of people not just Christians)

First of all, the issue of Satan.
I wonder where the geniuses that translated the Bible into Yoruba got that Satan is Esu(pronounces Eshu) I don't understand this. How can Satan and Esu be the same person when Esu is a Yoruba deity and Satan originates from Isreal? Or are the Yorubas Israelites?

Esu is a Yoruba deity that is the God of pranks and tricks. He is also the messenger of the Gods has he once played a trick on Eledumate by stealing his slippers and then he stole some yams wearing those slippers so everyone else will think Eledumare did it and he was punished with having to go to the earth during the day and come at night to come and report what happen to the Gods so how can he be this chief enemy of the High God? So so unfair for this guys as his name has been maligned and they see his worshipers as evil people.

Esu is the Yoruba version of what the Vikings call Loki. The God of mischief(forget the movies abeg).

Again, how can you call Eledumare the Christian God Jehovah? Why will you do this? This is a serious case of spiritual confusion.
Eledumare is the Yoruba version of Zeus, the Viking's Odin and the Roman Jupiter. He is not a Greek, Roman, or Jew. He is Yoruba and he is the King of the Gods. Assigning names to a new God is a form of idolatry you know.

We know Ares, the Greek God of war to be Mars, the Roman God of war but he cannot be called Ogun the Yoruba God of war.

Thor is certainly not Sango
Hermes is not Esu
Hades is not Esu
Satan is not Esu
Esu is Esu
Jehovah is Jehovah
Esu is Esu
Satan is Satan or Satani
Apollo is not Ra so please don't call Jehovah Eledumare.

These personalities are different and they represent different people

Jehovah originates from Isreal or a Jew
Eledumare is Yoruba
Amadioha is Igbo, Sango is Yoruba and Thor is Vikin
Poseidon is Greek while Olokun is Yoruba so why call call Satan Esu?

These slanders must stop if not, we will continue calling Esu worshippers Satanists without them being that

Original Phone Chargers

Any friend who steals your original cellphone charger/earphones should not be treated like a friend again. That person is an enemy.

So I have had issues with phone chargers in a while and I can say I have learnt a few things.
First is nothing is like the original charger...my goodness, those things are made in heaven specially for your phone and are meant to know how your charging should function and they come with the accurate rated output but when you lose them due to theft(mostly) or it gets bad, you need a new one.

When hunting for a new charger, know this: All chargers are not the same.

I classify chargers according to their rated output. I don't care how fine they are or if they have indicator lights etc...that is bla bla bla. When it comes to chargers, output is everything.
Most charger output is rated 5v and that is almost standard, you will hardly get one higher but the difference is the resistance hence current.
The current your charger supplies decides charging time. This means you can plug your phone for 2 hours with one charger and get just 30% while some will give you as much as 75. 

If you check the output of the ratings are written as 5V~1A. The "A" is in Amperes and it is the rated output current. Most Techno phones chargers have 1A as their output and that is cool but that means if you use a high end Samsung you should not use your phone while charging else it will take a long time to charge. This is because if you check your Samsung charger, it is most likely rated 5V~2A. Now that is some serious charging strength.

Windows phones too come with 2A and this is the reason you need to keep your original chargers well because it is difficult to get a charger on the market that is rated 2A. I will be surprised if you can get one rated 1A sef. I was quite shocked when I lost my charger, got a new one only to notice that my phone that goes from 0-100% in two hours was plugged for 4 and was at 33%.

The charger I just got was nonsense. The nonsense was rated 0.75A. That is like if my phone is on 4G and I am browsing, the battery is being drained.

The next time you go get a charger, make sure it is at least 1A. I got a 2A charger recently and it has been bliss. Did I also mention my powerbank supplies 2A too?

Okay I have two one has a capacitance of 5,200mmah(output of 1A) while the other is 30,000mmah(this has two output ports of 1A and 2A). The one of 5,200 is the one I take outside and put in my pocket when going out while the other one is what I really call backup.
Note: The normal USB cable for blackberries(the thick ones) are not okay to charge your windows and android phones that's because the resistance of these cables themselves is high and a higher resistance leads to less current supplied.

This post was sponsored by joblessness and my returning insomnia with a nice touch of crazy phone chargers which has had me frustrated for a while until I figured it out

Nigeria crazy dollar inflation rate

So a couple of friends and I sat down last night to talk about how fúcked Nigeria is right now. So we went ahead to review certain senerios....since we are largely an import based nation, I will try to share some points we raised and play around with.

All scenarios are the result of thinking and they are not real (really?)

• Plot 1. Sunday buys electronics from China and sells in the markets here. He does not have enough money to pay for every good and service yet but due to his resourcefulness, he was able to convince a cousin of his to talk to the company and shipping company to ship the goods in and he will pay then when he sells them off, he also had this deal with the shipping company.

So the shipping company charged him $50,000 in November ending last year to transport his container full of goods and he is to pay off when he sells the goods but in November, the Naira-Dollar exchange rate was 156 or lets put it at 160 which would have been 8 million Naira tops. The goods got to the port last week for Sunday to realize that the Naira Dollar exchange rate is effed up as it has gone to N220 to $1. 

Now Sunday has to pay N11 million to the shipping company instead of 8. The company on the other hand is not comfortable with business as usual as the economic outlooks for Nigeria does not sound good so they want to get their money before he can take delivery of those goods at the port.

•Plot 2. The total purchasing cost of the goods is $200,000. Which will have been meant Sunday owed the manufacturing company N32 million Naira. But with the exchange rate messed up, Sunday discovered that he owes the Company N42Million instead which is a N10 million naira increase. Now that is scary.

Practical Example of these two plots. I got a power bank in November in the middle of a job because I could not afford to have my mobile device not work and electricity is nothing to write home about . I got the power bank for N3,500. It got spoilt, I got another one, for the same price.

A friend of mine got that same power bank in the first week of January for N4,000 because of the exchange rate and he was angry....In the middle of February, I asked the person who sells it how much the power bank is in the latter part of February and she told me they are sold for N5,000 naira now. Okay....Inflation...real time inflation.

At least some good can come from this. Nigerians will not send their kids outside the country to get educated because the price is crazy and these countries want their cash in Dollars.

A patient who needs some medical procedure done in indian was giving a quote of $70,000 in september and he sold off his properties amd begged people to help him. As at then all he needed was about N10.9million right....people have been contributing but right now there is a problem. He needs more money because he needs to raise N15.4 million now because of the currency differential. Now another Inflation reality.

We still import fuel, food, machinery,trained hands and almost everything else in this country. Brace up for the inflation folks. It comes

My Stance On Abortion

My Stance on Abortion
This is not up to a discussion, I am not interested in any argument about it neither will I tolerate any form of back and forth. It is my choice and I made it because I have seen the world around me and I have taken a stance on a particular topic. 

I am not pro-abortion.
I am not anti-abortion.
I am pro-choice

Incase that was not explicit enough, I am not part of the people who will tell you to abort a child because you can't afford the bills or you were molested neither will I tell you to keep out of some misplaced sense of moral code. My stance is simple, put it on the table and allow the person who will feel the pinch more (the mother) decide what she wants to do with the baby she is carrying. 

While you are giving her the options, put abortion there and make her understand the risks. Tell her the pros and cons of this choice and how it may or may not affect her as a person. 

I don't see how a human being can be gang molested, get pregnant as a result and the society expects her to keep the baby out of some thoughts that it is all part of some divine reason. So in their twisted and perverted mind, there can be reason behind that. Okay. If this happens and the girl decides she cannot bear to carry the result of such a thing either out of shame or the fact that she does not want to be reminded of that horrible event. Allow her have her choice.

You are not her. The fact that someone else did does not mean she should, we humans don't react to things the same way. I am sick of the argument that "You can't tell, he might be the president in future" there are 140 million people in this country, we can find another person. Heck we took an inexperienced morón, made him leader and hey, we ain't all dead yet.

Give women a choice as to what they want, let them make that choice and support them through that choice. Your job is to put the options on the table and then shut dafuq up. Let the person wearing the shoe decide if she wants to keep wearing em or take it off.

It is weird that people who have not seen teenage mothers suffer and cry to the point where I know a 6 months old baby that was being fed garri because the mother could not afford pap and yet she wanted an abortion but was not allowed. Still those who stopped her were not around to help out. You come up with excuses like "you will regret it forever" but is it your regret?

How can someone say because she is below 18, she should not be allowed to make a choice? If she is having sex, she should damn well be able to decide if she wants to have a baby or not.

My Stance On Abortion

My Stance on Abortion
This is not up to a discussion, I am not interested in any argument about it neither will I tolerate any form of back and forth. It is my choice and I made it because I have seen the world around me and I have taken a stance on a particular topic. 

I am not pro-abortion.
I am not anti-abortion.
I am pro-choice

Incase that was not explicit enough, I am not part of the people who will tell you to abort a child because you can't afford the bills or you were molested neither will I tell you to keep out of some misplaced sense of moral code. My stance is simple, put it on the table and allow the person who will feel the pinch more (the mother) decide what she wants to do with the baby she is carrying. 

While you are giving her the options, put abortion there and make her understand the risks. Tell her the pros and cons of this choice and how it may or may not affect her as a person. 

I don't see how a human being can be gang molested, get pregnant as a result and the society expects her to keep the baby out of some thoughts that it is all part of some divine reason. So in their twisted and perverted mind, there can be reason behind that. Okay. If this happens and the girl decides she cannot bear to carry the result of such a thing either out of shame or the fact that she does not want to be reminded of that horrible event. Allow her have her choice.

You are not her. The fact that someone else did does not mean she should, we humans don't react to things the same way. I am sick of the argument that "You can't tell, he might be the president in future" there are 140 million people in this country, we can find another person. Heck we took an inexperienced morón, made him leader and hey, we ain't all dead yet.

Give women a choice as to what they want, let them make that choice and support them through that choice. Your job is to put the options on the table and then shut dafuq up. Let the person wearing the shoe decide if she wants to keep wearing em or take it off.

It is weird that people who have not seen teenage mothers suffer and cry to the point where I know a 6 months old baby that was being fed garri because the mother could not afford pap and yet she wanted an abortion but was not allowed. Still those who stopped her were not around to help out. You come up with excuses like "you will regret it forever" but is it your regret?

How can someone say because she is below 18, she should not be allowed to make a choice? If she is having sex, she should damn well be able to decide if she wants to have a baby or not.

Right and Correct (Philosophy of Life)

Right and Correct

In the cool evening with the sun gradually going down after a hot and day, Tade(aged 9) sat alone in front of their gate in Mushin drawing into the sand and was lost to his imagination as he saw the incoherent figures he drew came to life and fight one another just like the movie he had been watching with his elder brother and cousins earlier in the day. That was one of the few times he was allowed to sit with his friends to watch a movie pf any type as they were always saying he was too young to watch movies with then hence he was always stick inside the room or sent somewhere else.

He had always been called a chatter box as he had the nack of telling his mum everything that happens when his mum got back from work and this pisses his brother off as he tends to snitch on him a lot. It got so serious that even his mother at some point told him flatly that he should learn to keep secrets and also learn to support his elder brother as that is what a "man" does. But today he had seen a movie which was a change from what happens normally.
He was trying to draw a spaceship when he heard noises. He saw people running and then the gunshots too came but he did not run, he sat down and just looked up in the direction of the commotion.

A man in a bid to get away thinking that is was another gang fight accidentally dropped his smart phone just close to where Tade was sitting and he barely noticed. Tade called his attention and the man looked back. He acknowledged that the little kid was telling him he had dropped his phone but the fright within him did not allow him come for the phone.

Seconds later, Tade's cousin came running out of the house worried about the gunshots and he saw the phone on the floor. He picked it up, threw it into his pocket, the owner of the phone saw him and so did Tade. 

After taking the phone, he got Tade up and was about to walk into the house when a police truck drove by with police ment recklessly hanging on the sides of the truck. It became clear that the policemen were the ones shooting and people came out of their hiding places as their fear subsided. 

Tade's cousin ran inside the house immediately he saw it was all good and came back out just as the man came over to ask for his phone and the teenager denied seeing or even taking the phone. The man raised his voice and a crowd gathered. He was told to call the line and the response said it was switched off so they all turned to the only other person the man could mention in the story; Little Tade since the man said he called him to tell him his phone dropped so he must have seen his cousin pick it.

When Tade was asked, he looked at his cousin, looked at the man and denied seeing the phone. He said he was just sitting there and worried about everyone running and he did not notice any phone. He defended his cousin because he felt he owed the cousin more. He could not be a snitch and he knew his cousin will punished severely if he told the truth.

As Tade and the cousin walked back into the house, his cousin tapped him on the back, walked to a corner, produced the phone and said "You did the right Thing"
Tade asked "But was it the correct thing?"

A lot of times we are faced with tough decisions where right and correct becomes two different things. We have to sit down and make a balance between what to do in this situations and this ins majorly because while "Correctness" is more of you conforming to a set standard which might be legal or traditional, the "Rightness" is in conformance with morals. 
The right thing is never the same with everyone. While a correct statement is a truth statement which is based and facts and hence always true no matter when the same circumstances are played, a right statement is not. A right statement is based on the individual making the decision. The right thing to do most times is decided by the person taking the action he is not guided by any other rules but the rules he decide to follow which is why sometimes, people can defend adultery as the right thing.
People can defend fornication as the right thing to do if your partner in not faithful or is not around. People can defend taking property that does not belong to them because they feel they do not have, hence can lower their moral stand right there and decide it is the right thing.

The correct things on the other hand cannot be reduced or turned because it is based on standards our mind cannot bend to its satisfaction. The correct things are based on standards and codes that have been there so long we cannot win an argument against them. Right decisions can be affected by sentiments, our mood, anger, love, hatred etc but correct decisions? No way. These are decisions that do not care about how we feel about them.

Funny thing about life though is that we make more of "Right decisions than Correct ones" me included. I will say I am more guilty of this as sometimes I tend to put the interest of others above mine and which we have to agree is the right thing to do. The urge to be selfless or show people that everyone is not a jerk (This I will say is my bane) and it makes me lose sight of the correct things. It puts my needs in the background and makes me do the "Right things" instead of the "Correct" things. But sometimes, the right and correct things intersect though and those times. It is just blissful.

If only life was so simple

Living Life (A Short Story)

Lightning and thunder outside, the bellowing wind like gale forces and hitting the window planes to make those whistling sounds that makes them seem like more than they really are. The sky darkened by the cover of the gathered cloud, darkened from the light of the sun. Electricity out as the wind has knocked out a couple of power poles, it this were some South Western American state, you'd think it was a hurricane.

More lightning and the ever associated thunder, more rain as the floodgates opened and little ponds of water gathere everywhere. This is not what the weather man had said but it is what it is. This is the Tropical rain forest and the rains has "right of way". A gust of wind hits the house and the whistling of the window got a little more intense. The curtains flew apart as a direct result of the force of the wind even though the windows were locked.

Francis laid on the bed curled up like a millipede in the face of an impending danger. Goose pimple break on his skin as a result of the cold which came with the wind but he did not reach for his blanket. He was cold outside but inside him felt like the engine room of a coal powers locomotive. His eyes wide opened but he was not seeing anything. All thoughts focused on on thing and that thing is what's making him heat up inside.

His minds travelled and like the chain reaction from a nuclear generating plant it links several events together at the same time. Zeus plagues the sky with another bolt of lightning and three seconds came thunder but the sound did not bring him back. He always though life was not fair but right now life seemed to be the only thing he had left.

How could he have so much and yet mean so little. His mind raced to Pocahontas and the quote he always ignored "You can own the earth and still, all you'll own is earth...." He has been a hard worker all this time for the company. He had acted like a clock which had battery hence did not stop moving. He had hoped to use the company as a stepping stone to greater things and also a learning process so he poured his all. He focused his strength both inner and outer and like the wind outside his window, he was consistent but it seems all that does not work.

Not in a perverted society. Not in a society where hard work is despised and an upright human is more to be despised than appreciated. He took no bribe, gave none. Acted out the company's interest but he how was he paid back? The MD's daughter came back from SA and the MD asked that he resigns so she can take up the job. When he was told he stood there and waiting for the joke to be called or him waking up from the dream but neither happened.

He was packing his things into a box was what he knew next. This is the hand life has dealt him. He was faithful and yet the light was snuffed out. He never asked for a raise or promotion but he was asked to leave for someone who for all he knows can't even handle it. He wondered of the daughter would have been interested 2 years ago when the job was silly and he had to pick the pieces, go without wage for 3 months just to bring it together.

How humans forget. How memory sublimes from being in your face to it being a myth. How goodness is turned into something that is expected yet not rewarded. How unfair and wrong. In his mind, revenge ran through it, his pain and anger allowing him go down that path. But he knew he wont follow through. A part of him wanted the company to crash, another part though does not. Too much work, the wind blows again and filled the room with cold air from whence no one can phantom. Zeus plagues the skies with lightning and you can't hold back the thunder.

You can't hold back life. You can only live it

Depression point

Have you ever been at that point in your life where it seems like nothing is working for you? Where it just looks like everything is against you and everyone has abandoned you to your fate and you can't even get one person to talk to about your pain? Or you cant even get one person who has a hint of what you are passing through and that os killing you.

You see when you are at that point, do not despair. You see you can quote that "count it all joy when you fall into diverse tests" but remember that "all things work for good to them that love God and are called according to his purpose". Remember that "His thoughts towards you are of good and not of evil to bring you to an expected end" when you have remembered all that and you still feel like a piece of isht, that moment is when you need to stop sitting down in one place and get to do something.

I know people who have the compulsion to clean when upset of angry, I know those who eat and some people just listen to music, find out the group you belong to and get into it. Of you can't find that group, what do you enjoy doing that has to keep your brain busy at least?

You see the way self condemnation, self pity, self loathing and hating the world works is by you dwelling on how things have been bad, how things are and from there interpolating a future which of course will say things will not be good. At this point you need to do things that will remove you from your immediate environment. You need things that will make you ignore the present reality and take your mind off it else you will find yourself get soaked and drowned.

You also need to realize that you are not the only one going through whatever it is you are going through. You ain't the only person who will fail (even repeatedly) and not having someone to talk to is not because you are a horrible person or because the whole world hates you, it is because everyone is so cooped up in their own issues that they don't have an idea you are burning up inside. You should have friends who will listen to you. Just know who they are and put it in your head.

When they are not available, dont attempt to tell yourself your problems (you already know em) find other things to tell yourself. We Christians love to call it "confession of faith" some other folks call it being positive. Do not be dragged down into pessimism because things are gloomy. Get out of the house, get out of the room, get out of your head. Go watch little kids, go count cars passing outside, take a stroll, count the stars, listen to music. Try to think of positives and keep yourself well about the depression line before you start getting ideas about trucks and trains and how the world will be better if you were dead.

Frankly, the world wont be better of you were dead, the world will be the same messed up place it is. Stay positive, read novels, read books, try to write books, think up bullshit psychology, come pick an online fight, create an alternate account and troll everyone just get busy.

Send a message to a sensible person. Gist with the person for hours and make sure you do things that will make you drained so by night, you can sleep. Do not keep idle when you are having depression coming. You will only get worse.

If you don't know how something feels, you can never understand the reaction of someone passing through it. Sure you can see the pains and see how much the person hurts but you can never tell how deep the pain gets until you are standing by the grave and watching a parent being lowered into the earth and you realize that you probably wont see that person again.

You won't realize the level of hurt in losing a spouse until someone you love dearly dies and you can't do anything. You won't look at other people the same way. You dreams of a future, your company, you remember silly things like the smell of the hair, the husky voice, the things that actually annoy you a little, how protective he/she was and how much you love looking in those eyes and hearing those voice.

No one will ever understand your anger at a friend who almost died and almost turned your head in because you have lost friends and the pain is still deep even though it has been years. You are relieved that the person is okay but you imagine the seconds of worry and fear and you just cant stop the anger.

You can never know how it feels until you are in that position and that's when you know that crying is not a display of weakness. That's when the talks of you not showing how much it affects you turn to naught. At that moment, even the most beautiful sky, the most captivating sun, the clean beautiful beach loses there beauty and you seat down wondering how you forge forward. 

You see people comfort you and you wonder at the things they say. 

Don't ever tell people "get over it" it is callous and wrong. No matter how strong someone who grieves is "getting over it takes time" loss is not something you plan for. It is not something you and allocate time to deal with in advance so when it hits, you won't be affected. Loss is real and the pain it brings is crazy. You would need to help grieving ones by being there and not making things worse.

Again if you have never consoled a grieving person, you can never tell how much work it is and how draining it is.

The most important thing in marriage

I have also come to realize that the most important thing when going into a marriage is not love. Don't let your heart deceive or make the choice for you. A marriage is supposed to be forever so why should you trust your heart to make that decision for you when you have a brain?

The most important factor is actually compatibility. Can you live with this dude or babe for the next 45 years without wanting to divorce her or kill him? Because lets face the fact, you can love a guy who cheats on you and beats you. Yes, the heart will love who the heart will love.

You can fall in love with someone and then discover that he is all wrong for you what do you do? Falling in love is not the prerequisite for a relationship or a marriage and until you realize that, your falling in love is a direct result of how you program yourself and you can love anyone with those same set of qualities which in essence just means that love is not that important which is true.
Lets stop trying to lie to ourselves and telling ourselves "I love this girl/guy so much, I can't do without her" do you think you can live with her?

Are you perfectly okay with that guy who swept you off your feet and makes you gidi each time you think of him or think of something associated with him? Can you take the person's flaws?

People say "Love conquers all" but you should remember that as a woman you don't want to be stuck in an abusive relationship just because you love the guy or a potential cheat just in the name of love. As a man are you willing to bind yourself to a serial and professional nag?

As a man can you survive a man who works 6am to 9pm? Can you deal? Think well before you commit to this thing called love.

And there is something else we fail to think of. This person you so love and you are willing to tie yourself to is not the last person you will love. Yes I said it.

Let me tell you the truth, ask married folks who are honest, you will love other people even while married. Your wife/husband is not the last human being you will love or wish to have what happens then since you think you have to be with someone cos you love them, do you run off each time you find someone you love? 

In your quest for a future partner, hold on, find someone who embodies everything you want and is happy to have that and then work on having your emotions align with that not your emotions attaching themselves and then your standards changing.

Can you survive 45 years with the person? Just think of marriage this way. If you are to be locked up in a cell for the next 45 years with the person you "love" do you think you will come out after 45 years and want to go back? 

That is what should decide who you marry. 

Yes I said it

Who's a friend?

Your friends are the ones who know your issues, know you have them and still stick with you. You don't have friends until you can wake up at 3am and decide to rant about something seemingly meaningless and you can think of one person who is willing to and will listen.

You do not have friends until you have a friend who can actually tell you what you can do and what you can't do. If you think friends is about those who can party and get into fights for you, you are wrong.

A good friend is someone who you can tell about a bad decision, will scold you but won't rub it in instead he/she will hold your hand and walk that road with you.

A friend is that person who is in shape but will go running with you instead of sleeping just so you will run.

A friend believes

A friend does not accept thank you

A friend will tell you to do something even though that thing will hurt him/her not because he is a masochist but it is what is best for you.

A friend believes in you and sticks to you even in public and when you feel weak he/she is there to hold you up.

A friend does not want you to cry but if you do he/she will do everything to stop it and if they fail, sit down and cry with you not because he/she hurts but it hurts them to see you hurt so bad.

A friend remembers your problems even when you forget them

A friend tucks you in when you are drunk, removes your clothes (might not wash them) give you pain killers when you wake up and then does not speak to you for a week.

A friend keeps quiet when you are angry not because he/she has nothing to say but because he/she does not want to escalate the moment and say things that hurt.

Your friend is happy to see you smile.

The sad part is that your best friend is never the one you love and you will always choose that arsehole over him/her in the hope that he/she changes and that hurts (I know).

Your friend is the one you forget while you chase shadows and forget he/she exists but still smiles and understands.

Your friend is the one who helps you pick a dress for an impromptu date at the expense of one you have planned with the friend for weeks 

Your friend is the person you lock out inside the rain just to please the moróns and still helps you take your clothes off the line so you can have something to wear the next day.

We never appreciate our friends neither do we love them half as much as we should because we take them for granted. Funny thing is that your friend only asks that you say hi and spend time with them once a while.

Annoying is that your friend is always separated from you by a flimsy excuse on your part which the friend does not get.

When the friend leaves you never know what he or she has done.

I wish I am not doing this to my friend. 

If I have, sorry......

Friends will die for you but we are always too pig headed to know it. Maybe it is good we don't else we will take advantage of them.

Why bother to care?

So last night I laid down and wondered what life we live in. It is the same thought process that lead me to Atheism when I was younger (Perhaps I was not an Atheist, I might have just hate God too much to keel faith). It is the kind of thoughts that is capable of paradigm changes in psychology and way of life.

Amazing is that I think of it and I know where it ends but I chose to go with the thoughts. Life is amazing. You read the Bible and do all that is in it, keep your side of the bargain only to get blind sighted on an ideal Sunday evening and you wonder what went wrong.

You wonder why you are living alone in a 3 bedroom flat for months straight and no family around. 
You ask yourself why even though you seem to be the ideal person and follow God, there is no result and you welcome death more than anything else because you don't see the point.

At that point, you decide to turn your back and live your life and yet nothing changes but still you are comfortable cos it is your call and no heavenly anything to decide for you.

That was then though and now looking back, you see that nothing changed. You just grew in emotions and you learnt to understand things more and that just leads to the conclusions that life is not what they say it is in Sunday School.

You are not guaranteed anything just because you are a good Christian. You don't get the dream job, just because you are honest with your emotions does not mean you will get that girl. Just because you study hard does not mean you will pass, just because you are honest does not mean isht.

This is real life, to some extent you wonder what being a "good friend" does to/for you? When jerks get more appreciated. That is what life is.

I think the saying "Bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people" should be changed. I think it should just be "Things happen"

Just because you are loving to her does not mean she will love you. Just because you are diligent at work does not mean you wont get fired and the lazy ones retained. 
Just because you are a good wife does not mean your husband won't cheat on you and possibly infect you with HIV.
Just because you care about your friends does not mean they will care 
Just because you are a good parent does not mean those children will appreciate you

So I wonder why bother?
As I wondered why bother serving God years ago, I wonder right now why strive to be a good person when in the end you end up less and with nothing to show for it?

Why bother to do all the work when someone else takes the gain?
Why bother at all?

Why do I bother to care?

I am inches away from taking that step again. Inches away from Terraforming......

Is it all worth it?

So we fashion that saying that "Life ain't fair. Deal with it"

I'm getting paranoid

Okay so this is one of those "realest thing I've ever wrote" moments.....or not. I need help biko.

So a friend's crush or a girl he seems to be half in love with (personally, I think he has fallen in with her and just does not want to admit or is playing around with the truth like I do. Sue me) moved close, to me. I have spoken to her on phone, sorted some issues for her. Heck, I even arranged transportation to pick her up and take her wherever (Seems I can do everything with my phone these days). So three weeks ago, this guy calls me and asks when I will be going to visit her.

First reaction....you guessed right, I asked why I should go visit her. He said He just needs me to check out her living conditions and the like and I said she ain't a child. The he demanded for the actual reason I don't wanna go(he did not fall for that excuse) and I told him "because I don't want to go there and become this awkward stranger who came over and she starts getting the idea that I am sizing/checking her up (The title of this update is my paranoia right?). This dude is one of the few friend I actually relate with on an intelligence scale that most people just don't get so he knew exactly what I was talking about and how ladies do that. You try to be nice and the first thing they think is that you want something else which leads to them trying to use that to their advantage and you can see exactly what they are thinking and you refuse to be "played" like that and for some reason still end up being the guilty party.

So the process of convincing happened and I eventually went yesterday, and she was pretty cool. Spent some time there (she is another twitter junkie *sighs*). All in all, it was a good visit and she bought me Fanta...that's like 15 points.

Looking back now, I think of the reason why I decided to stay away from her and the impression I thought will form in her head and I realize that although it is funny and sort of cowardly, I am very comfortable with it. Perhaps I am getting too worried about sending the wrong signals that I send nothing or I am beginning to send signals that I really do not care and of course, I ignore every signal I receive. What's the point when you can so easily misread em? *yawns*

So I admit, I am paranoid and avoid the female folk cos of their awesome (not word I intended to use) thoughts and impression that guys have formed in their head about guys. Don't miss this for lack of confidence. There is no way I will back out of a meet cos I am scared of anyone or scared the meet might go wrong. I should know, cos I have had some pretty awkward meets and I always love driving every conversation the way I it to go except of course I decide to keep quiet and that's when I am strongest (topic for another day).

The Weaker Vessel

"The Weaker Vessel"

This is a term used to describe women, it was used in the Bible, the Quran prefers to use the term "Defficient in mind" to describe them because well men are said[thought, known] to be better than women(not in everything but when we take averages, the men should be better) what do I think of this? Bullshît.

You see this thing is a result of mental conditioning which has been happening since when? Right from Adam and Eve. A lot of us don't see it cos we overlook it but it is there.

In Genesis 2:17, God told Adam about the only sin he should avoid in the garden of Eden. Did Adam comply with that law? Let me take you on a little trip.

Genesis 3 starts by describing the devil (serpent) as a deceitful creature and the most subtle. Heck the devil is supposed to be better than Adam and Eve at manipulation right? So Eve was in the Garden that day and the devil came to her and then he convinced her to eat the fruit and she gave Adam and he ate of it and that was the original sin...

Lets look at this story well, Eve was deceived by the Devil who is supposed to be the master and she fell. But how did Adam fall? He fell to a human. A human made from just one rib, Adam lost the whole planet to a creature he is supposedly "greater" than. That says a lot about how resistant men are. Men are really resistant and strong when it comes to that(yeah right). At least Eve argued with the Devil before she was convinced. The man? He swallowed took it without care.

One has to question Adam again. When the devil came to Eve to lie to her, where the heck was he? Perhaps he went to watch Man U play Chelsea or he went to watch his neighbor's wife "lustifully" which made him leave his home unguarded. You can argue that he went to do what God asked which is to tend to the garden (note that naming of the animals was done before Eve was created Genesis 2:20). But Eve is supposed to he an "Helper" how come she was idle and the man was not beside her?Men: Recklessly abandoning their home since 7000bc.

Adam was irresponsible (not different from his desendants). He did not watch his own home. He failed to introduce his wife to God thereby denying her the type of relationship with God that he had.

Another flaw you notice in Adam, Genesis 3:12. When God asked Adam how he knew he was nakèd what did my ancestor do? He blamed the woman. He refused to take responsibility for his action (like most men today...blame the woman) seriously, he did not even think of "being a man and standing up to defend his family". He did the first thing most men will do, hide and leave the woman to take the fall. And oh, it gets better: he told God that the woman gave him of the fruit and he ate. But God had told him not to eat it. There was not clause in the commandment where God said "If your wife gives you, eat it" . Men have been shifting the blame since they were created and after the whole bla bla bla, guess who mankind blamed for the fall of man? Your guess is right The woman!

Note the step by step here, women are not weak in mind, Eve even argued with the devil (who is supposed to be able to become a handsome creature). She did not just crumble which signifies inner intelligence, a strenght that helps women out in difficult situations.

Men have shown that they are reckless, selfish, never around when you need them, liars, not supportives, self centered and yet men come of every story as the good guys.

This is dues to decades and centuries of mental conditioning. Putting women down, demonising women who have decided to sit up and say no or they want more and as if that is not enough, man also recruited allies to help them put women down.....guess who they are...Women!! Women joined the fight against their own selves. 

The point of this whole rant is not to make men sound evil or bad (even though a lot of men are) but to the women, you are not so weak. Eve was not weak, she stood against the devil before she gave in. You can be more than you are, don't conform to the bullshît society sells to you about how you have to fall in line like a lamb to the slaughter, aspire to be more, do more, think more and maybe, just maybe with that, the world will be a little bit better.